It’s difficult for me to pull away form our kids, I want watch every miracle of a breath my daughter exhales. I want to stare in the wonderment of her height and spectate how it is she has learned so much over the years. I read a blog not long ago where a mom discussed her distaste of date nights, and how unnecessary they were, how instead of date nights we should focus on family bonding times. In the essence of my moment to moment actions it would come off as if I agree with her, but in the sensibility of the big picture I have to admit that adult time is necessary not only for sanity, but also for my husband and I to continue to grow together as a couple outside our kids. We need our adult conversations, I need to stretch my mind beyond stinky diapers, and we need discussions outside the romantic realm of our daughter’s daily bowel movements. A weekly dinner with my husband helps reign in my identity from Mommy to Jess for through the week I seem to lose myself.
Even more important we need to build the strength of our team when it comes to the battles that face us day after day with our B and all the conniving moving parts that surround him. My husband and I need that connection and trust as the two of us fend off public assumptions that we are all “dead beat” dads and “wicked” step mothers. We must stand strong when our rights are non-exisistence in the eyes of a hypocritical court system. We must remain on the same page when slanders of his snake of an ex strike our hearts and her slithering frame wraps around our B, assuring our distance and attempt to conjure a void in our love.
In the big picture the day to day hurtle with the children will pass, this too is temporary, and as enchantingly bittersweet as that is there will come a day where we will have to be comfortable just being us again. Something that then will have send several lifetimes ago. We want to keep alive our passions that drew us together to begin with, the talk of economy and financial stability of the world, delectably unique dining experiences, and that undying need to explore near and far! I would hate that free spirit I loved to be for those great three decades pre children to go missing, or that pretentious corporate schmuck that I fell in love with to lose his sting.